Watersports Crazies
Aug 06, 2022
Screw-Loose Bob
Having owned a business for 24 years I've had tons of employees. Frankly, I've forgotten quite a few of them. A few, however, I will never forget. For better or worse.
Many summers ago I was in my home-office catching up on some paperwork. It was a slow day at the business and I had a good manager watching over things. Surely, there’d be nothing to worry about.
A friend of mine calls me at my house and says, “Yeah, you need to get Kim (his girlfriend’s daughter) off the jet-ski patrol boat.” I’m confused. How does he know Kim is on patrol and why is he telling me to get her off? He briefly explains to me she’s scared and needs to get back to shore as soon as possible. I’m still trying to digest what’s happening but he’s someone I trust and I oblige. I immediately call the shop and tell the manager to get Kim off the patrol boat. The manager’s a little confused too, but he takes care of it.
Later, we put the pieces together and found out what happened.
I had just hired Kim because my friend dated her mom and recommended her. She was an attractive high schooler and all the male workers at the business were extremely happy with my decision. She came in that first morning, I introduced her to the important people who would get her oriented, and I went home to do some work.
The usual routine when we brought on a new employee was to train them on how we rented out jet-skis and we would show them how to patrol the riding area. Patrolling the jet-ski area is a very typical job responsibility in the watersports business. At the time, we had a nice little 15’ inflatable with a 60 hp motor and it made a great patrol boat. Some people were intimidated by being on patrol for the first time so we often had a fellow employee go out with them to show them the ropes.
What About Bob?
On this particular day Bob was the lucky college student assigned to help the new, attractive female get up to speed on operating the patrol boat. For some reason, young men have been known to perform acts of stupidity to impress a young lady. This, it turns out, was just such an occasion.
Bob took Kim out on a little cruise around the jet-ski area and gradually got the boat up to full speed. Bob assumed an athletic stance behind the helm, clutching the steering wheel. With his chin up and his chest puffed out, he gave a commanding look. As they skipped across the water Bob yelled, “CAN YOU FEEL THE POWER?” Kim responded with a half-hearted, “Huh?”. Bob repeated louder, “CAN YOU FEEL THE POWER?!” Kim feeling a little uneasy says, “I guess so.” Bob came back with, “TAKE THE WHEEL!”. Confused, Kim says, “What?”. Again, Bob ordered, “TAKE THE WHEEL!!” Kim dutifully took the wheel at which point Bob jumped overboard, skipping across the water and leaving Kim all alone in the boat at full-speed.
Kim gathered her wits and pulled out her cell phone (this was not common 20 years ago) to call her mom and tell her she was scared. Mom told her boyfriend and the boyfriend called me.
Bob was fine and somehow got back to shore.
After one day Kim retired from watersports.
All the guys were mad at Bob.
Soon after the details of this story were revealed, the moniker “Screw-Loose Bob” was born.
And he never trained an employee again.
Best Wishes, John Van Lunen
Stay connected with stories and updates!
If you love the Outer Banks you'll enjoy our weekly posts containing local information, things to do, and observations.
In appreciation you'll receive a list of highly recommended books that are set on the Outer Banks.
We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.
